In this episode, Heather and Jamie discuss handling conflict and confrontation, how to stay friends when your seasons don’t align, and finding security in your identity.
Confrontation gets a bad rap, but it can actually be the doorway to deeper connection—if we handle it with humility and love.
“I really appreciate your friendship, but I need to talk about something…”
That posture—grateful, but honest—opens space for resolution rather than resentment.
Before confronting a friend, ask yourself:
Will this affect our relationship long term?
Is there a win on the other side of this conversation?
Can we grow from this?
Sometimes it’s best to write it down, sit on it for five days, and then revisit it. But if it still stings after some time, it’s probably worth a conversation.
And here’s the thing—bringing something up might lead to the end of a friendship. Or it might be the reason you go deeper. Either way, you’ll learn something. You’ll grow.
What about when a friend is constantly hurting your feelings with backhanded compliments or passive-aggressive remarks? That’s not just a one-time thing—that’s a pattern.
It’s important to see what’s happening before reacting. Then ask, What do I do about it? Are they trying to hurt me, or is something going on inside them?
Some people are just harsh. But sometimes, their behavior reveals more about what’s going on inside of them than it does about you. That doesn’t mean you have to keep subjecting yourself to their unkindness. You can still ask: Can I be healthy in this relationship?
Not every friendship is meant to last forever. Some people you love from a distance. Others, you fight for—because they’re worth it.
Friendship gets complicated when you’re in different seasons. One of the hardest things is staying close when life doesn’t look the same—when one of you is changing diapers and the other is traveling the world.
Marriage, kids, new jobs—they shift the dynamic. But that doesn’t mean the friendship has to die. It may just need to look different.
Instead of expecting hours-long catchups, maybe it’s showing up with coffee while your friend wrangles her toddlers. Or sending a text to say “thinking of you” when you know their plate is full. Friendships are fluid. If the season changes and the friendship shifts, it’s not personal—it’s just real life.
And hey—you never outgrow going first.
The best way to build strong friendships? Start with yourself.
Get close to Jesus. Let Him remind you who you are. That you’re secure. Loved. Chosen. If your identity is grounded in Him, you’re not as easily shaken by someone else’s words or silence.
Maybe you also need to dig into some deeper roots—family dynamics, past wounds, or unhelpful patterns. A counselor, mentor, or wise friend can help you grow. Don’t be afraid to ask:
“Can we go to lunch? I want to talk through something I’m processing.”
When done right, it’s a place of celebration, not competition. Encouragement, not comparison. A safe space to be real and be known.
So ask yourself:
What area do I want to grow in?
What’s God asking me to do next?
Who can I encourage or love on today?
Maybe your next step is small: starting a new hobby, saying hi to someone at church, or striking up a conversation at the coffee shop. But those small steps lead to big connection.
Friendship isn’t just about who you do life with—it’s about who helps you become more like Jesus.
So be brave. Go first. Believe the best.
And keep showing up.
Address:
1-244 & 129th
Service Times:
Saturday at 5:00 PM
Sunday at 10:00 AM
Address:
1-244 & 129th
Service Times:
Saturday at 5:00 PM
Sunday at 10:00 AM
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