Music has a way of reaching places ordinary conversation cannot. A melody can surface grief that has no language. A lyric can unlock longing that has been buried for years. In worship settings especially, hearts are often warmed—softened enough to enter into honest conversation with God.

But outside of those moments, many people approach prayer and feel nothing.

The issue is rarely that God is absent. Often, it is that access to the heart is blocked.

Access to the Heart

Our inner world is shaped by both emotions and feelings, and they are not the same thing.

• Emotions are immediate responses to a stimulus. Something happens, and core emotional reactions—joy, fear, anger, sadness, disgust—are triggered.

• Feelings are the meaning we assign to those emotions. They are the story attached to what we experience.

An emotion is the spark.
A feeling is the interpretation.

Understanding this distinction is crucial, because spiritual maturity and emotional maturity are inseparable. It is not possible to grow deeply with God while remaining emotionally immature.

What Is Emotional Maturity?

Emotional maturity is the ability to endure hardship and remain relational.

It looks like staying connected instead of shutting down. It means receiving care rather than isolating. It involves naming what is happening internally instead of being ruled by it.

One key concept here is differentiation—the ability to step outside of oneself while staying connected. Differentiation is not detachment. It is the capacity to examine what is felt without being dominated by it. In relationships, it means maintaining personal identity while remaining engaged with another person or circumstance.

Without differentiation, feelings take over.

Unexpressed feelings do not disappear—they take you somewhere. They shape tone, posture, decisions, and relationships. But when feelings are named, some of their hidden power dissolves. Bringing them into the light changes their grip.

Feelings Are a Gift

Many people feel intimidated by their emotions. Family of origin often determines which feelings were considered “acceptable.” Anger may have been suppressed. Sadness discouraged. Fear labeled weakness.

Yet Scripture says:

“Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” — Proverbs 4:23

You guard what matters.

Feelings are one of the ways the heart keeps watch. They are not intrusions into spiritual life; they are invitations into it. They are part of image-bearing. God expresses joy, grief, anger, compassion. Relationship without emotion is not relationship—it is transaction.

Feelings are not flaws in the design but part of the design.
But beneath every feeling is a story. Asking, What story am I telling myself right now? can open the door to clarity.

Learning from the Psalms

The Psalms provide a model for emotional health. The psalmist examines his own heart, asking questions and unpacking his distress. And then he directs his heart:

“Put your hope in God.”

There is a pattern here:

1. Honest examination.

2. Relational redirection.

Emotions move in one of two directions—away from relationship or toward it.

The psalmist refuses isolation. Emotion becomes a doorway back into trust.

Psalm 40 begins with waiting patiently for the Lord—remaining under the weight of hope. Patience is not passive; it is the willingness to stay present under the burden of expectation. Hope requires endurance.

The Risk of Isolation

Human beings were made for relationship—with God and with one another. Yet modern culture often prizes self-reliance. People isolate to avoid being a burden. There is a tendency to believe others should simply “know” what is needed without it being spoken.

Sometimes even spirituality becomes a form of avoidance. “I talked to God about it” can become a substitute for talking to anyone else.

But using God to avoid vulnerability with others is not relational health. Nor is turning to technology for companionship without risk. There is no true vulnerability where there is no risk. Encouragement without cost can feel hollow.

Real relationship requires exposure. It requires the possibility of misunderstanding, disappointment, and growth.

Trusting God With Your Feelings

Learning to trust the Lord with feelings is at the heart of spiritual life. Relationship with Him is not about presenting polished thoughts but about bringing the full interior world, raw and unfiltered, into His presence.

Writing can be a helpful pathway into this work. Slowing down, putting words to experience, and asking what story is attached to a feeling opens space for clarity.

Sometimes the most faithful posture is simply this: stop and wait.

God was present when whatever happened happened. He is present now. The invitation is to bring the feeling to Him and trust that He can hold it.

Toward Relationship

Emotional maturity keeps people relational. It allows hardship without isolation. It makes space for vulnerability without collapse. It cultivates patience.

Feelings are not distractions from the spiritual life. They are part of the pathway.

They either move a person away from relationship
or deeper into it.

The invitation is not to suppress them or be ruled by them, but to examine them, name them, and allow them to lead back into connection with God and others.