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October 04, 2024

Why Sex Matters in Marriage: Connecting Body, Mind, and Spirit

In this bonus episode, Whit, Casey and, Angela break down Paul’s letter in 1 Corinthians, how we can move through sexual brokenness and dysfunction, and how we can address these topics in our relationships and in our church community.

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We are members of Christ’s body, and this belonging informs the way we should love within a marriage. But how do we live this out well in a hyper-sexualized world?

In 1 Corinthians 6 and 7, as well as Ephesians 5, Paul addresses the profound connection between the body, spirit, and our relationships—particularly marriage. These passages challenge us to reconsider how we view both our physical bodies and the way we approach intimacy and commitment within marriage.

The Body: More Than Just Flesh

The Corinthians had a distorted view of the body and spirit, a belief that what they did with their bodies didn’t matter because the spirit was the only thing with true significance. This “material escapism” suggested that the body was something without spiritual value. Paul confronts this by declaring that the body is not meaningless, but rather, it is meant for the Lord, and the Lord for the body (1 Corinthians 6:13). Jesus’ resurrection proves this—He didn’t escape His body but redeemed it.

Therefore, our physical bodies hold dignity, value, and are destined for resurrection, not simply disposal.

This theological truth impacts not just how we live in our bodies but also how we love, especially in marriage.

Who We Belong to Should Shape How We Love

In Ephesians 5, Paul gives a beautiful image of marriage that mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church. Just as Christ loves and nourishes His body, the Church, a husband is called to love, cherish, and nourish his wife. This isn’t just a surface-level love, but a deep, sacrificial love that mirrors Christ’s own.

It’s a love that flows from understanding that our bodies—and by extension, our relationships—belong to the Lord.

We are members of Christ’s body, and this belonging informs the way we should love within a marriage. Our commitment to each other in marriage is a covenant, a mutual giving of oneself for the sake of the other. This covenantal love requires vulnerability, sacrifice, and intimacy. It’s more than just a partnership or a legal contract; it’s a deep relational bond rooted in Christ’s love for us.

A Countercultural View of Sex and Intimacy

In 1 Corinthians, Paul addresses the issue of sexual ethics in the church, where there was confusion and misuse of freedom in Christ. Many believed that since they were no longer bound by the Old Testament law, they had the liberty to live however they wished, particularly regarding sexual matters.

Some adopted a view that sex was merely about physical gratification, detached from any spiritual or emotional significance. Paul pushes back on this, reminding them that their bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) and that what they do with their bodies deeply matters.

Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7 encourage married couples to come together regularly, to give themselves to one another, not as a duty but as an expression of mutual love and vulnerability. This teaching was radical in the Greco-Roman world, where sex within marriage was often about dominance and producing heirs. Paul advocates for something much deeper—a self-giving love that reflects the covenant between Christ and the Church.

Healing and Restoration in Marriage

What do we do when there’s brokenness, when the intimacy and connection we long for in marriage seem far away? Paul’s words remind us that marriage is not about arrival but an ongoing journey of discovery, growth, and transformation. Just as our relationship with Christ requires continual pursuit and vulnerability, so does our marriage.

Honest conversations are the first step in healing. You may not get it right the first time, but commitment to open dialogue, even when it’s uncomfortable, can begin the journey to restoration.

Sometimes, seeking the help of a counselor is necessary. Healing takes time, and the process may feel slow, but God is in the business of breathing life into dead things. If your marriage feels like it’s struggling, remember that transformation is possible. Through mutual vulnerability, patience, and a desire to pursue intimacy together, change can happen.

A Marriage that Preaches

Your marriage is more than just a private relationship; it is a sermon to the world. When the world sees a marriage that reflects Christ’s love for the Church, it sees a glimpse of the gospel. That’s why it’s so important to guard our marriages and the intimacy within them. If something causes you to stumble—whether it’s media, technology, or unhealthy patterns—cut it out. Be intentional about creating spaces for deep, meaningful conversations and connections.

Marriage, when rooted in Christ, is a transforming and life-giving relationship. It’s not about perfection, but about continual growth and love. Through our marriages, we can testify to the world about the power of God’s redemptive love. So, let us commit to nourishing and cherishing one another, just as Christ loves and cherishes His Church.

 

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