Submission is a word that often brings with it feelings of apprehension. In Ephesians 5, Paul introduces the concept in regard to wives and their husbands.

Paul’s letter to the Ephesians was written to a community of Christ-followers, emphasizing unity in the body of Christ, including unity between husband and wife. However, his teachings on submission aren’t meant to be applied rigidly or without pastoral wisdom. Instead, Paul is reorienting our understanding of God’s family and how it reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church.

He is speaking into the culture of his time, but the principles he puts forward extend beyond that context, providing an image of marriage that can be worked out throughout generations.

The essence of his message is that we cannot live out this ideal of submission and sacrifice without the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Our homes are meant to be a living witness of God’s love and grace.

Submission Redeemed

The concept of submission, when redeemed in Christ, is all about trust. Unity in marriage happens through mutual sacrifice and submission, where each spouse seeks the good of the other. Husbands, in particular, are called to be “gardeners”, tending to their families with care, consistency, and a heart for their wellbeing.

But what does submission look like in less-than-ideal situations?

The word “submission” often carries baggage, particularly when placed within the context of marriage. For many, it conjures up images of control, power imbalances, or an unhealthy loss of autonomy.

First and foremost, submission doesn’t mean blind obedience, especially when it violates one’s allegiance to Jesus. Scripture makes it clear that our ultimate loyalty lies with Christ, and if submission in any relationship demands actions that contradict His teachings, it is not biblically endorsed submission.

Submission, in its truest sense, thrives on trust—not fear or domination.

Mirroring Christ and the Church

Ultimately, submission in marriage mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church. Just as Christ loved and sacrificed for the Church, so too are spouses called to love and sacrifice for one another. This requires setting aside personal preferences and desires for the sake of the other.

Marriage, as Paul points out, is a temporary arrangement, but it points to something eternal. The work we do in our marriages, the struggles and the victories, all carry eternal significance as they reflect the love and unity of Christ and His Church.

Far from being a way to hold someone down, biblical submission is a way to lift up both parties. It mirrors the sacrificial love of Christ, who submitted Himself to the Father’s will and gave His life for the Church. Submission in marriage creates space for life, growth, and flourishing.