When most of us imagine parenting, we picture teaching, training, guiding, and protecting our kids. We think about what they will need, who they will become, and how we can help them get there. What we don’t often anticipate is how deeply parenting will expose us.

As Jamie and Heather reflect on their parenting journeys, one truth becomes unmistakably clear: parenting is just as much about our own formation as it is about raising children. In many ways, it’s a long, slow invitation into sanctification—learning to become emotionally regulated, humble, consistent adults who reflect Jesus in the ordinary, inconvenient moments of life.

Parenting Has a Way of Revealing Us

Many of the moments that frustrate us as parents aren’t really about our kids’ behavior—they’re about what that behavior stirs up in us. Inconvenience. Loss of control. Interrupted plans. Unmet expectations. Parenting has a way of surfacing immaturity, impatience, and unresolved patterns we didn’t even realize were there.

From toddler tantrums to teenage pushback, parenting consistently confronts us with the reality that we don’t always respond with wisdom or peace. And yet, this is where growth happens. Parenting forces us to slow down, reflect, and ask harder questions: Why am I reacting this way? What’s going on in me right now?

This work is uncomfortable—but it’s also deeply formative.

The Gift of Structure, Stability, and Presence

Children need freedom to grow—but they also need stability. They need to know someone is there, someone is steady, someone can be trusted. Like a toddler glancing back at a parent on the playground, kids are constantly asking, Are you still here? Can I count on you?

Consistency matters more than perfection. Being emotionally predictable, holding rhythms and routines, and creating clear expectations give children a sense of safety. Often, this means adjusting our habits—waking up earlier, planning ahead, or letting go of convenience for the sake of peace.

Being the adult isn’t always glamorous, but it is loving.

When “Easier” Isn’t Better

One of the most tempting parenting shortcuts is doing things for our kids instead of letting them learn through discomfort. Feeding them longer than we should because it’s less messy. Fixing forgotten homework instead of letting consequences teach responsibility. Removing frustration instead of helping them work through it.

These choices often make life easier in the moment—but they can quietly undermine growth. Children learn self-control, resilience, and problem-solving when we allow them to struggle in safe, supported ways. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is let ourselves be uncomfortable so they can grow.

The Marble Jar of Trust

Trust isn’t built in grand gestures—it’s built slowly, one small moment at a time.

Brené Brown’s “marble jar” illustration beautifully captures this reality. Every time someone shows up, notices, keeps a promise, or responds with care, a marble goes into the jar. Over time, trust grows. And when the jar is full, the relationship can handle more weight—hard conversations, correction, even humor that might otherwise sting.

This is especially true in parenting. When we consistently respond with integrity, follow through on boundaries, and remain emotionally present, we’re filling our children’s jars. That trust becomes the foundation that allows them to come to us when things really matter.

Boundaries Are Loving—Even When They’re Hard

Healthy boundaries aren’t about control; they’re about clarity. They’re lines we hold, not expectations we place on children to manage on their own.

Sometimes that looks like turning off the video game when the round ends—even when it sparks frustration. Sometimes it looks like holding a bedtime boundary or allowing natural consequences to play out. Boundaries require consistency, courage, and a willingness to absorb discomfort without reacting.

Over time, children learn that our words mean something. They learn we’re safe, predictable, and trustworthy—even when they don’t like our decisions.

Repair Matters More Than Perfection

Every parent messes up. What shapes a relationship isn’t the absence of conflict—it’s how we repair afterward.

Repair means owning our part without excuses. It means apologizing without adding a “but.” It means reaffirming love, dignity, and connection after moments of rupture. These moments of repair are often more formative than the conflict itself, teaching children that relationships can heal and trust can be restored.

Parenting as a Lifelong Process of Grace

Parenting doesn’t come with a finish line. There’s no point at which growth is complete or sanctification is finished. Whether your kids are young or grown, God continues to work—in you and in them.

If you’re carrying regret, remember this: it’s never too late for growth, humility, or repair. God is able to redeem what feels broken and to work even now through prayer, wisdom, and grace.

And especially during seasons like Christmas—when routines unravel and expectations collide—grace matters more than ever. Some boundaries may bend. Some rhythms may pause. That’s okay. You can always start again.

Parenting is a journey of becoming—becoming more patient, more grounded, more like Christ.

And even when it feels messy or unfinished, God is present, equipping you for the children He entrusted to you.