HELP! I don’t have any friends 

This season, we’re dialing in and dedicating to making, managing, and molding close, personal friendships. Let’s get started! 

If you’re new to Life In Motion, here’s what you should know: this is a podcast where best friends, Heather George and Jamie Jobe, talk about life—the ups, the downs, and everything in between, even the things we’re not supposed to talk about.

This season, we’re dialing in and dedicating to making, managing, and molding close, personal friendships. Let’s get started! 

Is it okay not to have any close friends?

Before we jump into making, managing, and molding friendships, we really need to talk about why friendship is important. You were made for close, personal relationships both in your family and outside of it. Introvert or extravert, biologically, we all receive energy from people when you’re in their presence.

At some point in the last decade, “People suck” became a more common saying. Likely, you began protecting yourself from rejection by hiding behind a screen or a social media facade and ultimately cutting off your capacity for emotional connection in the name of not getting hurt. When you remain in a state of rejecting others to protect yourself from rejection, you stunt your growth and capacity for love. The results? A major deficit of acceptance and vulnerability.

Friendships require chemistry

People shape you, encourage you, challenge you, and carry you. So naturally, you want to be careful about the people you bring into your life. But maybe you’re a little too careful.

One of the most complex parts of making friends is chemistry. There are times in friendships where one person is growing and the other isn’t, so the friendship dissolves. Or one person is independent while the other is codependent.  And don’t even get us started on couples friendships: you seldom find a set of couples where the husbands or wives didn’t have to work really hard at liking each other.

What are we saying? Well, chemistry takes work. We all want friendships to develop organically, but the best ones take time, energy, and intentionality. Listen to Heather and Jamie talk about the specific ways they keep their friendship going in this week’s episode.

So what can you do right now?

Be open about who you are willing to be friends with.

Over the next several weeks,  we’re going to look at how to make, manage, and mold a close, personal friendship. So, get ready! Slow down this week and think about the areas where you’ve said no to friendship and slowly begin to open that part of your heart back up.

 

Resources: In this episode, Jamie mentions Pete and Gerri Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy books. Check them out here.

Read more from Life in Motion.

And That’s a Wrap: A Q&A to End Season One

Answering your questions on depression, loving the LGBTQ community, setting boundaries, and making friends.

Answering your questions on depression, loving the LGBTQ community, setting boundaries, and making friends.

We’ve had an incredible 12 episode first season of Life In Motion. If you didn’t know, season one was called “We’ve Got Issues”. During this season, we’ve looked at anxiety, depression, overspending, grief, and so much more, and it’s been an awesome, awesome season. We’ve heard from so many of you about how Jamie and Heather’s stories have made you feel seen, appreciated, and valued. We’ve also heard that it’s time for another Q&A.

During each of our episodes, we say, “LEAVE US A MESSAGE!” And you did! In this final episode of Life In Motion season one, Jamie and Heather listen to your messages and talk about them! It’s a good old Q&A episode.

They talk about depression medication, loving the LGBTQ community, setting boundaries, and making friends! Check it out above.

Four Questions From You

  1. “Jamie, are you looking for the root of your depression?”
  2. “Is there a successful way to minister to the LGBTQ community?”
  3. “What do I do when a friend is lying to me about alcohol addiction?”
  4. “How do you form relationships, friendships, and community?” 

Question: Are you looking at the root cause of your depression?

You may have heard, in our episode on Depression, Jamie talks about being on medication for depression. In this episode, Jamie answers one of our listener’s questions about that episode, “Is she looking for the root cause?” This is such a great question. Jamie responds by opening up again, getting vulnerable, and sharing her own experiences.

Ultimately, she’ll tell you that if you feel similar to her: pursue health. Not just for depression, but your whole life. No matter our health issues, whether mental health or physical health, we have to be walking toward holistic healing. It is not healing that says I want to be “skinny” or “happy,” but the healing that puts our minds and bodies in a place of optimal health because there are people who need you to be in your optimal health.

Question: Is there a successful way to minister to the LGBTQ community?

One of our listeners reached out and asked a simple, honest question, “Is there a successful way to minister to the LGBTQ community?” The answer: of course. Like ministering to any other person, you have to show love, spend time, and build relationships.

Heather and Jamie recommend some books for anyone who wants to love the LGBTQ community better.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert – Rosaria Butterfield
Gay Girl, Good God – Jackie Hill Perry

Question: What do you do when your friend is lying to you about alcohol addiction?

This question is all about boundaries. There is a fine line between loving someone with an addiction and enabling someone with an addiction. Ultimately, you will have to learn your limits, remember that you are not this person’s savior, and continue to push them toward professional help.

In your friendship with someone struggling, you may need to have a conversation where you lay out what you see happening, address the pain, and set some healthy boundaries. You may say something like, “It’s hurting me that this is happening, and it’s hurting our relationship that you’re lying about it.” Remind the person that you’re there for them but be ready to set the boundary. It may be that the person needs to see a counselor or seek professional help before you’ll feel comfortable continuing the relationship. You can help them find a counselor or take the step, but whatever the boundary it needs to be followed through with a consequence.

Setting boundaries is complex. But find freedom in knowing that you are not anyone’s savior and God does not require you to be. Don’t carry a burden that’s not yours to carry. Continue to pray for people, pray for God to show up in their lives, and trust that God is working. Even if it hurts your heart to set a boundary, know that you can trust that God is taking care of it. Set yourself free from the burden.

Question: How do you form relationships, friendships, and community?

There’s no doubt that Heather and Jamie’s friendship is … really special! We could all use a friendship like theirs. One of our listeners reached out and asked about how to make friends and form a lasting relationship like the one Heather and Jamie have. Their answer:

  1. Pray for friends in every area of your life
  2. Be bold and put yourself out there
  3. Remember: not all friendships last forever

We hope you’ve enjoyed this first season of Life In Motion. If you haven’t already, take a minute to subscribe to our emails so you don’t miss news about our next season!

Church Hurt: Is it time to leave? 

If you’ve been on TikTok or Instagram lately, you’ve likely seen countless videos, meme accounts, and stories about church hurt. For the last episode of season one, Whit and Adam explore church hurt and what to do about it. 

If you’ve been on TikTok or Instagram lately, you’ve likely seen countless videos, meme accounts, and stories about church hurt. For the last episode of season one, Whit and Adam explore church hurt and what to do about it. 

Often we think, that church is where everybody is supposed to be doing the right thing. The idea is there shouldn’t be any hurt at church. But unfortunately, that’s not true. The reason pain is in the church is because people are in the church. 

Church hurt is the result of sin.

There’s a duality to all of us. There are some negative things about us, and there are some positive things about us. There’s good in us, and there is some darkness in us too. We’re made in the image and likeness of God—that’s the good stuff. The sin part is the bad stuff. So we hurt each other as a result of our nature. 

The hope is that when you’re a part of a church, you’re allowing Jesus to work in your life. You’re allowing Jesus to remove those negative tendencies. But it doesn’t always happen that way.  

Are you allowing people to apologize? 

We all have desires and expectations, and sometimes those expectations just aren’t met. But people around us may have no idea how hurt we are by those unmet expectations. Biblically, there is a command that says, if your brother has done something against you, you should go to him. Often, we think it’s easier to carry our bitterness, disappointment, and unmet expectations, rather than going to the person who hurt us and having a conversation. It’s hard, and it’s scary to have those conversations, but it is worth it. 

Often, we end up making excuses for our feelings. We’ll say things like, “Well, it’s not that big of a deal” or “I don’t want to make it bigger than what it is.” But the hurt or disappointment ends up building more and more resentment. Disappointment, hurt, and unmet expectations are like wet concrete. If you don’t deal with it when it’s wet, it will eventually solidify and harden. Then, removing it becomes a lot more complicated. We hear so many stories of church hurt because we aren’t great as a culture about sitting down and being honest about our pain. Instead, we would rather avoid the uncomfortable feeling of being honest and leave the church.

The church is a covenantal relationship.

We often treat our churches like a product to be consumed. If the product makes us happy, we stick with it, but if we no longer like the product, we move on to the next best thing. Our relationship with our church comes down to how well the church can serve us or align with what we believe; it doesn’t take much to move from a fan to critic of the church. Like marriage, though, the church is meant to be deeper than a consumer-style relationship based on wants, needs, and expectations being met. Your relationship with the church should be covenantal—based on deep, lasting commitment. A covenantal relationship says, “For better or for worse, I’m here with you.”

So, what do I do about church hurt?

How do you navigate church hurt? How do you begin to have honest conversations? 

    1. Choose relationship over isolation.
      When there’s a conflict between you and someone else, resist the urge to avoid them. Instead, choose to see the best in them.
    2. Use “I notice ____ I would prefer ____” language.
      If you’re struggling to set a boundary, say what you noticed or didn’t like and address what you would prefer the person do in the future. For example, “I noticed you used my story as an example. I would prefer that you ask me before using it in the future.”
    3. Use “I’m puzzled, and I’m not assigning motive or blame” language.
      Sometimes you’re just hurt, and you need to be able to express that to the person. You can seek to understand and find healing by defining your hurt and not assigning motive or blame by simply saying, “I’m puzzled by this.”
    4. Tell the truth even when it’s uncomfortable.
      It’s worth repeating, don’t belittle or avoid your hurt. Express how you’re feeling and allow people to apologize.

If you need some help walking through how you’re feeling and the issue you’re experiencing, try using Pete Scazzero’s ladder of integrity.

There is no excuse for physical, emotional, or verbal abuse. If you are being abused, notify someone in authority and separate yourself from the situation right away.

Read more for Spirit In Motion: “The church is not a building”

Counseling: What To Expect and When To Go

Okay, so maybe you’ve had the thought, “Should I go to counseling?” But quickly shrugged it off with a “Nahhhh, I already know all my issues. I don’t need someone else to know them.” Or maybe you’ve already made an appointment, but you’re nervous about what to expect. Like, what if you see someone there! 


Okay, so maybe you’ve had the thought, “Should I go to counseling?” But quickly shrugged it off with a “Nahhhh, I already know all my issues. I don’t need someone else to know them.” Or maybe you’ve already made an appointment, but you’re nervous about what to expect. Like, what if you see someone there! 

In this episode of Life In Motion, Heather George and Jamie Jobe talk about what to expect and when to go to counseling. They even talk about helping their children go to counseling and allowing them to confide in someone other than a parent. Listen to the episode! 

“SOMEONE LOOKS AT YOU, LISTENS TO YOU, DOES NOT JUDGE YOU, AND ASKS YOU QUESTIONS THAT REALLY HELP.” 

If you’ve been hesitant about going to counseling, here’s some encouragement for you. There is great relief in being able to share what’s on your heart and mind without judgment and fear. To put it simply, counseling is a safe environment where someone with an outside perspective looks at you, listens to you, does not judge you, and asks you questions that really help. AND they’re professionals, so they have the tools to help you strategize how best to unravel the different parts of your story to find relief from the tensions you’re feeling. 

When should you go to counseling?

Sometimes you might wonder … When is it appropriate to see a counselor? We would answer that by saying, “WHEN IS IT NOT?” Whether big or small, if you’re dealing with something, it’s appropriate to see a counselor about it. Here are 5 signs to look for when considering if it’s time to see a counselor:

  1. Circling the same problem or argument over and over again.
  2. Struggling with confidence, joy, anxiety, depression, or overspending.
  3. rocky relationship with anyone in your life, including coworkers, parents, kids, etc.
  4. You’ve noticed a bad habit from your parents creeping up in you.
  5. You feel a lingering sadness, anger, or numbness.

If you are in a profession that requires you to care for others or carry a weight of responsibility, we urge you to see a counselor several times throughout the year to process what you are carrying at work.

Why can’t you just “LET IT GO” without going to counseling? 

Dealing with the difficulties in life is … Well, difficult. Like most things, you can’t let go of the past, present, and even future issues on your own. The lie of our lives is that you can do it yourself, but the truth is, you can’t. Life is lived in relationship with others and if you’re not processing life with people, you’re probably punishing people and don’t even know it. You can’t just let it go because you don’t know how and no Google search will tell you how. It is something that must be discovered in relationships with others. That’s the beauty of counseling, someone who has the tools to help you let it go, looks at your life with you, and guides you through a personal, custom practice of letting it go. 

5 Pro tips:

So you’re ready to see a counselor? Here are few quick pro tips for you: 

    1. Remember, change takes time.
      Plan to see your counselor multiple times. They will typically suggest how many sessions they recommend during your first meeting. You may see someone a few times and uncover something.
    2. On the subject of time, try to book all your appointments at once.
      We promise you will go to about three sessions, get busy super busy and then forget to schedule an appointment for 3 months.
    3. Create space in your schedule on the day of your first meeting.
      If you can, try to create some time after your first meeting just to sit and process before going back to work or heading home.
    4. Tell someone you’re ready to see a counselor.
      For whatever reason, you will likely decide it’s time to see a counselor and then never make the phone call to set up an appointment. Tell a friend and ask them to make sure you make the call. Don’t keep waiting for the next time you’re struggling; just go.
    5. Bring a journal or a notepad with you.
      Your counselor will likely have some exercises for you to do in between meetings that you’ll want to remember. Or they may use some specific words that help unlock an idea for you. Bring a journal to quickly jot down the things you don’t want to forget about your visit.

It’s okay if you don’t connect with the first counselor you meet with. You may consider meeting with someone once or twice before deciding if you want to meet with them for all of your recommended sessions.

Tulsa area counseling recommendations: 

Cornerstone Christian Counseling 
Hope Forward Counseling & Coaching
Joy Christian Counseling
COPES
Suicide Hotline

Read more from Life In Motion.

True Lies: “Your past does not define you.”

You’ve probably heard someone say, “Your past does not define you,” which is kind of true. It doesn’t define, but it does affect you. In this season of Spirit In Motion, we’re looking at “true lies.” True lies are things that we say that have a hint of truth but ultimately have been misunderstood.

You’ve probably heard someone say, “Your past does not define you,” which is kind of true. It doesn’t define, but it does affect you. In this season of Spirit In Motion, we’re looking at “true lies.” True lies are things that we say that have a hint of truth but ultimately have been misunderstood.

In this episode of Spirit In Motion, Church on the Move Lead Pastor Whit George and Kids Pastor Adam Bush discuss the lies around dealing with your past and the statement, “Your past does not define you.” 

The true lie with “your past does not define you” is that your past doesn’t affect you. That there’s no need to look at the past pain or mistakes because they no longer define you. We agree that your past does not define you, but it is affecting you. 

“There’s a difference between looking at who you’ve been and identifying with who you’ve been.”

Everything we go through marks and shapes us, sometimes in good ways and other times in bad ways. You should be able to honestly address who and where you’ve been without identifying as someone who is still dealing with those things. There’s a difference between looking at who you’ve been and identifying with who you’ve been. You should be able to freely say, “I was an alcoholic because of ______” but no longer feel the weight of shame from identifying as an alcoholic.

Why is it so important to look back? 

It’s not about going back to live there; it’s about going back to get free. Jesus doesn’t want you to live there or stay there. He wants to heal you and deal with the issues that began there. He wants to look at the source of the problem with you. Many of us live with the same problems, the same pain points that keep coming up, and we’re unaware of them. So what can we do? 

“You can’t be healed from what you’re unwilling to acknowledge.”

Allowing Jesus into the most painful parts of the past is the only way to be free. You can’t be healed from what you’re unwilling to acknowledge. But for some of us, it’s tough to explore our pasts on our own. One of the best ways to work through your past is in conversation with others. A counselor, a friend, or the people in a small group can help point out the patterns from your past that are still affecting you. Whit and Adam specifically mention the following as ways to find freedom from your past:

Real Jesus 
Small Groups
Counseling

Facing past pains

Who knows your story, your struggle, and your secrets? Not everyone has to know your story, struggle, and secrets, but someone has to know. We live under a mistaken illusion that “it’s my burden to carry,” and worship at the altar of “Lone Ranger Christianity” rather than recognizing the words of Jesus that says, “take up your cross and follow me.” We’re so unwilling to face the pain, be honest with people, and go to counseling that we end up not following Jesus fully. We miss out on the resurrection and freedom found in Jesus because we’re afraid to experience pain. 

If you’re in the Tulsa area, here is a list of Christian counselors we recommend. If you’re not in the Tulsa area, we encourage you to search out a Christian counselor that can help you walk toward freedom. 

The Love of Jesus

If you knew you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? No, really. Think about it. What would you do? Odds are your day would include time spent with family, friends, plenty of good food, maybe a fun adventure or two, and Tillamook Mudslide ice cream (okay, that last one is just me). 

Did you know that Jesus had one of these moments? When he knew his time on earth was coming to a close? One of his closest friends, the Apostle John, describes it this way: “Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end” (John 13:1). 

THE UNCOMFORTABLE LOVE OF JESUS

What does Jesus do when he knows his “hour” is fast approaching? Does he pull out his “Son of God Bucket List” to see what he has yet to accomplish? Does he do something that blows the minds of the disciples? Well, no. But also yes. 

What’s on that “Son of God Bucket List” anyway? The authors of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) give us the most comprehensive picture, of course, but you could also sum it up in one word: love. Notice how John himself summarizes the life and ministry of Jesus up until this point: “having loved his own who were in the world.” Three years of ministry packed into that one little phrase. 

“YOU SHALL NEVER WASH MY FEET”

If you know the story, you’ll remember that right after this moment Jesus gets up from dinner, takes off outer garments, ties a towel around his waist, and begins to wash the disciples’ feet, which was the dirtiest part of the body in the ancient world (remember, no socks!). This extravagant, outrageous, seemingly unnecessary act of love was beyond the mental categories of the disciples. That Jesus, the eternal Son of God, would take on the lowliest task imaginable, was something they struggled to accept. It made them uncomfortable. How do we know? Because Peter straight up rebukes Jesus for it! “You shall never wash my feet,” he snaps back (John 13:8). 

There’s a little bit of Peter in all of us, isn’t there? We sense Jesus loving us in the midst of our sin, our imperfections, our mess, and we get uncomfortable. We squirm and kick like a newborn baby. Often, we tend to guard ourselves from experiencing the love of Jesus not because we don’t want to be loved, but because the love of Jesus is unlike any love we have ever experienced. After all, how could someone so great (aka “God”) really care that much about me? 

RECEIVING THE LOVE OF JESUS

I married into a family that loves chocolate. In fact, they love chocolate more than most human beings. Morning, afternoon, evening, it doesn’t matter; chocolate is always the right choice. I vividly remember one time when they introduced me to a special flavor of ice cream (not Tillamook Mudslide, that was a separate revelation of grace) that was one of their seasonal favorites. Inside this ice cream was a massive fudge swirl. I had never seen or tasted anything like it. It was the grace of God in a bowl. They all got up for seconds after their first bowl and I followed suit.

This was not a smart move. You see, I hadn’t gone through the proper “chocolate conditioning” my wife and in-laws had. Over time, they had become the type of people that could do a second bowl of fudge ice cream. I was a bit overzealous and became sick as a result. But that didn’t stop me from subsequently putting together a “chocolate conditioning program”. As a result, I can now proudly (or ashamedly) say that a second bowl of fudge ice cream doesn’t send me to the couch; it sends me to the third heaven. 

This is a silly example, of course. But here’s my point: don’t guard yourself from the love of Jesus. Receive it. Go back for seconds. It will be disorienting, you might feel sick at times, you will most definitely feel exposed, but you will always be safe. 

After Peter refused the foot washing, Jesus tells him in emphatic fashion, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me” (John 13:8). This is an interesting response, isn’t it? What’s Jesus getting at? Here’s what I think he’s saying: “Peter, it’s not my foot washing behavior that’s outrageous. It’s your behavior, your refusal to accept my love.” Ultimately, Peter’s “humility” was a form of arrogance. Refusing the love of Jesus was tantamount to refusing Jesus himself. 

“ABIDE IN MY LOVE”

Once this sinks in, Peter quickly retorts back, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” We like to make fun of Peter here, but is this not the posture of a disciple? Elsewhere in John’s gospel, Jesus talks about this posture as “abiding” (John 15). Sticking close to Jesus. Asking for more. That’s the goal. Peter here is learning how to be a disciple by learning to receive the uncomfortable love of Jesus. It is impossible to be a disciple of Jesus if you are unwilling to receive the love of Jesus. 

By including this story in his gospel, John hopes that readers like you and I will learn from Jesus’ foot washing as well. Spend some time at some point today in Peter’s shoes (or lack thereof). Imagine the King of Kings literally washing your feet. And then don’t object. Let him serve you. Let him love you. Your discipleship depends on it.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” (John 15:9)

Read the story of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet: John 13
Read more from In Motion: Have You Met the Real Jesus?

Depression: Bringing to Light the Lingering Sadness

In this episode of Life In Motion, Jamie Jobe opens up and brings to light her story with major depressive disorder. 

For some, depression creeps up seasonally. In the winter or when we’re away from people (like we were during quarantine). For others, though, depression is a part of every moment. It’s a lingering sadness that shows itself through slight aggravation, lashing out, and lethargy. 

In this episode of Life In Motion, Jamie Jobe opens up and brings to light her story with major depressive disorder. 

“THERE’S ALWAYS AN UNDERLYING FEELING OF SADNESS”

Many people distract themselves with activity, work, or helping others to cope with the feelings of depression. But if you slow down long enough, there’s always an underlying feeling of sadness. It’s heartbreaking to realize that what you’re feeling is not normal. So, what do you do? 

Addressing Depression Physically

Jamie shares a few of the ways she’s physically taking steps with her depression. Here’s what she recommends:

Change your diet

The nutrients you get (or don’t get) from food can directly impact your mental health. Changing your diet might look like cutting out caffeine, carbs, fried food, etc. Look at starting by cutting down on eating out. 

Limit your screen time 

Limiting screen time is an essential but challenging discipline for a lot of people. Whether it’s a TV, a phone, or a laptop, your screen has more of an impact on you than you think. Limit your screen time, replace it with physical activity, and see how you feel after. 

Addressing it Spiritually


Talking to someone may be the best thing for you spiritually. If you are struggling with depression that is holding you back from everyday life or seasonal depression that creeps up now and then, we encourage you to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. Here are few resources to help get you started:

Counseling Services
COPES
Suicide Hotline

In this episode, Jamie shares a message from Chris Hodges that helped her. Here is a link to that message. 

This episode may be one of the most vulnerable and open episodes of Life In Motion yet. If you identified with anything Jamie said, or if you have some follow-up questions, leave her and Heather a voicemail: 1-539-215-9432

Every season, Heather and Jamie set aside episodes to listen to your voicemails and respond to them. 

Identity and the Lie of “Follow your dreams”

We’re not trying to be anti-inspirational this week, but… “you should follow your dreams” is a lie… What do we mean by that? Well, the problem with statements like “Follow your dreams”, “BE YOUR OWN HERO”, “You be you”, is that they’re crushing us. They put unhealthy pressure on us to figure out who we are, be a unique person, choose the right career path, and make choices that will lead to LIVING OUR BEST LIFE. 

We’re not trying to be anti-inspirational this week, but… “you should follow your dreams” is a lie… What do we mean by that? Well, the problem with statements like “Follow your dreams”, “BE YOUR OWN HERO”, “You be you”, is that they’re crushing us. They put unhealthy pressure on us to figure out who we are, be a unique person, choose the right career path, and make choices that will lead to LIVING OUR BEST LIFE. 

In this episode of Spirit In Motion, Church on the Move Lead Pastor Whit George and Kids Pastor Adam Bush explore the topic of IDENTITY and the statement, “You should follow your dreams.” We like to call a statement like that a true lie. There’s a hint of truth to it, but ultimately the idea has resulted in a misunderstood, broken concept… a true lie.

WHAT IS IN YOUR INSTAGRAM FEED BUT MORE OPTIONS OF WHO YOU COULD BE?

A lot of times, when someone says, “Follow your dreams”, we don’t even know where to begin because we don’t even really know who we are. And when we try to figure it all out, it gets really complicated. What we’re talking about in this episode is identity—what makes you, you. We are bombarded every day with the pressure to live our best lives and be “something special”. What is your Instagram feed but more options of who you could be, where you could go, and what you could do? It seems like identity and fulfillment is the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow called “following my dreams”. But often, we hear stories of people who got to the end of the rainbow only to find that the gold they were looking for wasn’t there.

Look for steps, not master plans.

So how do you know who you are, and how do you build your identity? The short answer: time.  You build your identity over time. You discover who you are over and over again by taking one doable step at a time. The follow your dreams narrative wrecks people because it says that these “steps” need to be leading toward a master plan of success and fulfillment. It lies to you and tells you that you need to know every part of the master plan before you take a step. So there is a crushing burden of trying to figure out, “What college do I go to?” “What do I major in?” “What job should I take?” and the narrative of our lives becomes “I DON’T WANT TO SCREW THIS UP.” 

The invitation of Jesus is, “Come follow me.” 

What if instead of “follow your dreams”, you changed the narrative to “follow Jesus”? Following Jesus is a FAITH journey. He has the master plan, and you don’t really know where He’s taking you. Following Jesus means being led in steps, not master plans. So as He puts a small doable step in front of you, you take it.

By faith, Abraham, when called to go to a place, he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. — Hebrews 11:8 

We see throughout scripture stories of people taking a step even though they have no idea where they are heading. Those stories illuminate a truth about God’s relationship with humanity… He does not give people master plans; He gives them steps. What would it look like to release the crushing pressure of following your dreams and begin to simply follow Jesus? 

Looking for more on this topic? Listen and read,  Lost dreams: How to recognize, embrace, and grieve them well.

Listen to Whit and Adam explore this subject in-depth on this week’s episode of Spirit In Motion on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or YouTube.

“Porn is a victimless crime”

Is porn a victimless crime? Culture has been exploring what is acceptable sexually since… well, forever. The truth is, everyone draws the line sexually somewhere. So, where do you draw the line? Is pornography acceptable?


Is porn a victimless crime? Culture has been exploring what is acceptable sexually since… well, forever. The truth is, everyone draws the line sexually somewhere. So, where do you draw the line? Is pornography acceptable?

In this episode of Spirit In Motion, Church on the Move Lead Pastor Whit George and Kids Pastor Adam Bush explore the statement, “Porn is a victimless crime.” We like to call a statement like that a true lie. There’s a hint of truth to it, but ultimately the idea has resulted in a misunderstood, broken concept… a true lie.

“Sex is for pleasure.”

Whit is extremely vulnerable in this week’s episode. He shares details about his past struggle with pornography to help the listener visualize the long-term effects of using pornography. He says, “if you only think about sex from the standpoint of pleasure, then it becomes a self-centered activity. It’s all about you. That’s really what happens with porn and masturbation. It’s a way to physically physiologically train yourself that your needs, your pleasure comes first.” It’s no wonder that porn and pride go together. It’s no wonder that porn and greed, porn and lust, all of these things happen together because it’s all about feeding a selfish desire.

Pornography is the enemy of intimacy.

The end game of sex is intimacy. The problem with pornography is that it destroys your capacity for intimacy. Think about it, is there any less intimate sex than porn and masturbation? There’s literally no one else there. So there’s no real investment that has to be made. You don’t need to know the name of any of the people involved, and they don’t even need to know that you exist.

So, who is the victim of porn?

The short answer is: You. There are a lot of pornography users, Christian or not, who would say pornography hasn’t benefited their lives. The individual pornography user suffers from pride, selfishness, and addiction. But beyond that, anyone who loves the user also suffers because porn destroys the user’s capacity for intimacy and real connection.

“But is pornography use really hurting me?” Porn is forming in you a more selfish desire. Pornography doesn’t just affect one private, secret part of your life. It is shaping every part of our life around your own selfish desires. In this episode, Whit says, “to think that I can contain pornography use in a little compartment of my life and it not bleed out into the other parts of who I am, is a mistake. I think you’re fooling yourself if you think that’s possible.”

Struggling with Pornography?

If you’re struggling with pornography, take a step. Text “OVER IT” to 23101 for a pastor from Whit and Adam’s church to connect with you. They’ll help you get connected to a community of people facing this challenge together.

In this episode, Whit and Adam talk about Whit sharing his story at their church, Church on the Move. You can hear his story here, Intimacy over Pornography from Church on the Move.

more episodes on porn

• Life In Motion: Porn is the Problem pt. 1
• Life In Motion: Porn is the Problem pt. 2
• Blog: Intimacy Over Porn by Blaine Bartel

Questions on Parenting and Pornography

Heather and Jamie love to bring people together. So naturally, their podcast is a place where they want to do the same. Every season, we set aside episodes to hear from YOU and answer your questions—this is one of those episodes. 

Heather and Jamie love to bring people together. So naturally, their podcast is a place where they want to do the same. Every season, we set aside episodes to hear from YOU and answer your questions—this is one of those episodes. 

In this episode, Heather and Jamie listen to voicemails from you and respond to your thoughts. They answer questions about the best time for kids to start dating and what to do when your spouse has a pornography addiction. 

Question One: When is the best time for your kids to start dating? 

What a great question! On the one hand, dating can help your children better understand how to have relationships with people, gain experience in navigating relationships with other people’s families, and better understand the opposite sex. But on the other hand, a breakup can be devastating, break up friend groups, and hurt your kids. So what should you do? Heather and Jamie explore the topic of when kids should start dating in-depth.

Question Two: What should you do if your significant other struggles with porn? 

When we hear about pornography addiction, we often hear from the person struggling, but what about their spouse? How did they handle it? How did they support their spouse? What would they have done differently? In this episode, Heather shares her experience navigating the tensions and heartbreak of porn in marriage. 

Questions? Leave us a voicemail: 1-539-215-9432.

Have a question you want discussed on Life In Motion? Want to share your thoughts on a specific topic? We’d love to hear from you! Every season, we set aside episodes to hear from YOU and answer your questions. Use the number above to leave Heather and Jamie a voicemail—your question might be on our next Q&A episode.

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Listen to more from Life In Motion: Porn is the Problem.